So it's the holiday season! Yeah! It's that favorite time of the year that seems to have all in a tizzy, but a fun one hopefully! For us this year it's just the beginning of many more happy and exciting Christmases to come! Our little boy is 17mos old now. He's big and crazy! He does funny little things, is starting to talk more and is definitely understanding all that is going around him w/ much more comprehension than before! It's been an amazing transition for us!
We had our little family Christmas here before we hit the grandparents' this weekend into Christmas day. He did surprisingly well w/ opening his gifts. He got very excited to see what was inside. Didn't really understand that each thing was unique, but instead he wanted to move onto the next present he could unwrap! Some toys caught his eye and we got a "wow" out of him, but mostly he just slowly and daintily ripped the paper off and looked at each item.
We tried Santa. And failed. Failed 3 times actually. So just like baseball, 3 strikes and you're out! We won't try again til next year. But nonetheless he dressed up like Santa (yes, I bought the suit- he's only little once!) and smiled for pictures by the tree, so that in its own right counts!
But for now, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We cheer to another wonderful year filled w/ days to see our little boy grow!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I'm Back!... For NOW
Hi again! It's been quite a while since I've sat in this chair and started to type! Wow!
Have I been too busy? Perhaps. It seems that as children get older there's less and less time for things like typing on the computer or talking on the phone, and there's more time for sitting on the floor and playing, and reading stories to demanding toddlers. Now that my son is 15 months old he demands most if not all of my time anymore, so such everyday tasks like laundry and cleaning are set to separate days and are applauded when they actually get accomplished!
He's at a great age. He understands sort of what I say, but he can't talk his thoughts back to me. He does make gibberish back to me (and who's not to say he's not talking back!), but since it doesn't make sense to me I just agree and get to move on w/o much of a fight! But he's also at a heart stopping age for my husband and I. He gets into everything now. And I do mean EVERYTHING! If he sees it then he wants to see it! He wants to touch it and touch it and touch it if you get my drift! He can climb onto a chair and get things. He can reach up higher than before and grab things. He takes what he wants and does what he wants w/o fear.
And as great as an explorer that he is, he is his own boss and does not understand that some things will harm him. He doesn't like hearing no or having danger forbidden from his experiencing. And so he sits or lies down on the floor and throws the ever so waited for tantrum!
Here's the thing w/ tantrums. You can ignore them, however that doesn't guarantee a stop. You can feed into them and it doesn't make it worse. But the hardest part about them is when they happen you instantly have to figure out how to abate them b/c depending where you are or who's around when they occur, the evil eye gets thrown at you. Yes, that evil eye that my husband and I threw to other parents when we were w/o child. That evil out that said all in itself, "how horrible is your kid?!". And when you see that look, it makes you mad, it makes you feel like you've lost control. And worst of all, it makes you realize that you have "that kid". Even tho everyone has "that kid" at some time, when that kid is your's for the moment, you want to hide. You want to go away and hope that you never see those people again b/c of course their child is perfect and your's is not... WRONG!!!!!!! But all the same, you wish that your child will stop and that he will smile and laugh like it was staged and you go on merrily. Instead he cries, I flee or want to, and I seethe over the bad behaviour for about 30 seconds. And then I wipe away his tears, give him a kiss and a hug, and tell him that I love him til it happens again!
So for now the babe is sleeping. I'm going to go do that laundry that otherwise doesn't do itself, and tomorrow we'll get something else accomplished!
Have I been too busy? Perhaps. It seems that as children get older there's less and less time for things like typing on the computer or talking on the phone, and there's more time for sitting on the floor and playing, and reading stories to demanding toddlers. Now that my son is 15 months old he demands most if not all of my time anymore, so such everyday tasks like laundry and cleaning are set to separate days and are applauded when they actually get accomplished!
He's at a great age. He understands sort of what I say, but he can't talk his thoughts back to me. He does make gibberish back to me (and who's not to say he's not talking back!), but since it doesn't make sense to me I just agree and get to move on w/o much of a fight! But he's also at a heart stopping age for my husband and I. He gets into everything now. And I do mean EVERYTHING! If he sees it then he wants to see it! He wants to touch it and touch it and touch it if you get my drift! He can climb onto a chair and get things. He can reach up higher than before and grab things. He takes what he wants and does what he wants w/o fear.
And as great as an explorer that he is, he is his own boss and does not understand that some things will harm him. He doesn't like hearing no or having danger forbidden from his experiencing. And so he sits or lies down on the floor and throws the ever so waited for tantrum!
Here's the thing w/ tantrums. You can ignore them, however that doesn't guarantee a stop. You can feed into them and it doesn't make it worse. But the hardest part about them is when they happen you instantly have to figure out how to abate them b/c depending where you are or who's around when they occur, the evil eye gets thrown at you. Yes, that evil eye that my husband and I threw to other parents when we were w/o child. That evil out that said all in itself, "how horrible is your kid?!". And when you see that look, it makes you mad, it makes you feel like you've lost control. And worst of all, it makes you realize that you have "that kid". Even tho everyone has "that kid" at some time, when that kid is your's for the moment, you want to hide. You want to go away and hope that you never see those people again b/c of course their child is perfect and your's is not... WRONG!!!!!!! But all the same, you wish that your child will stop and that he will smile and laugh like it was staged and you go on merrily. Instead he cries, I flee or want to, and I seethe over the bad behaviour for about 30 seconds. And then I wipe away his tears, give him a kiss and a hug, and tell him that I love him til it happens again!
So for now the babe is sleeping. I'm going to go do that laundry that otherwise doesn't do itself, and tomorrow we'll get something else accomplished!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Vacation Elation
Just got back from a week of "vacation" with the "kiddies" so my husband could work long hours. It's this new thing he wants to do so that he can get work done and be able to come home at reasonable hours for weeks on end in each quarter...
Yeah, right. Sounds like we went out of town and he worked alright- but not a lot of accomplishment. And again I tell you, it's not a guarantee being an accountant's wife is a glamorous life! :)
So the kiddies and I went to my parents. There are a few things I realized...
1. I am too old and much too independent to be living with my parents.
2. Vacation is not what it should be called when you're with a baby, and a dog who thinks she's a baby, and your all alone without the Daddy.
3. It's nice to be away, but the homecoming part stinks- laundry, groceries, unpacking, cleaning up, going through mail, and just general settling back in to home.
4. Home is not sweet home when you realize that you've been sleeping alone in bed with a small human and a weiner dog all week and now you're crammed back into your full size bed with both of them and your husband too!
5. Stress and anxiety instantly begin when you realize that you're not "off" anymore and now you're back to real life... and it's still Sunday night!
But regardless, it was a nice trip up to PA. I love that the baby and the dog had green grass, a cool breeze and saw the grandparents all week long!
Yeah, right. Sounds like we went out of town and he worked alright- but not a lot of accomplishment. And again I tell you, it's not a guarantee being an accountant's wife is a glamorous life! :)
So the kiddies and I went to my parents. There are a few things I realized...
1. I am too old and much too independent to be living with my parents.
2. Vacation is not what it should be called when you're with a baby, and a dog who thinks she's a baby, and your all alone without the Daddy.
3. It's nice to be away, but the homecoming part stinks- laundry, groceries, unpacking, cleaning up, going through mail, and just general settling back in to home.
4. Home is not sweet home when you realize that you've been sleeping alone in bed with a small human and a weiner dog all week and now you're crammed back into your full size bed with both of them and your husband too!
5. Stress and anxiety instantly begin when you realize that you're not "off" anymore and now you're back to real life... and it's still Sunday night!
But regardless, it was a nice trip up to PA. I love that the baby and the dog had green grass, a cool breeze and saw the grandparents all week long!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Birthday Blues?
My son just turned 1 year old this past weekend. I can't believe it's been a whole year already! It feels like it wasn't that long ago that we were waiting for his arrival, and now he's here, he's been here and it feels like we've always had him with us! Weird.
And his party was great. All of his little friends came to celebrate with him and all of our adult friends came to celebrate with us as well! It was so very nice! But busy, so busy... I don't feel like I got to see or really speak to anyone, and we had friends who drove the whole way down from PA and all! Man oh man! I was ready with everything and I still can't tell you what I was doing that I didn't really interact with anyone particularly! Ugh!
And he cried when I took the candle from him because contrary to his belief, it was not edible by any means so when he took a bite of it and swallowed it, I had to take it away leading to tears on his birthday cake! It was his party and he cried tho not wanting to I imagine.
But after turning 1 he had to go to the doctor's for his 1 year check up. He got shots and has been cranky intermittently since. Poor little guy. But that's OK. Dad is helping best he can to alleviate Mom's tension from it! Good Daddy! And so for the little guy, now life changes. He's no longer the baby, but with each passing day he becomes a big boy and for both of us, life will be a big change. Eventually he will have to grow up and I will have to let go... but not for a long time anyway!
And his party was great. All of his little friends came to celebrate with him and all of our adult friends came to celebrate with us as well! It was so very nice! But busy, so busy... I don't feel like I got to see or really speak to anyone, and we had friends who drove the whole way down from PA and all! Man oh man! I was ready with everything and I still can't tell you what I was doing that I didn't really interact with anyone particularly! Ugh!
And he cried when I took the candle from him because contrary to his belief, it was not edible by any means so when he took a bite of it and swallowed it, I had to take it away leading to tears on his birthday cake! It was his party and he cried tho not wanting to I imagine.
But after turning 1 he had to go to the doctor's for his 1 year check up. He got shots and has been cranky intermittently since. Poor little guy. But that's OK. Dad is helping best he can to alleviate Mom's tension from it! Good Daddy! And so for the little guy, now life changes. He's no longer the baby, but with each passing day he becomes a big boy and for both of us, life will be a big change. Eventually he will have to grow up and I will have to let go... but not for a long time anyway!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Long Summer Nights
In the summers before we had a child my husband and I would be out doing things at night. We would take the dog for evening walks and wind down by watching TV or come home because it was late and we were tired...
Now bed time begins around 6 or 7pm and that consists of scrambling to get the baby either bathed or his teeth brushed, and then take care of ourselves before he gets too tired and becomes a little bear til he falls asleep. For most parents we know they put their baby to bed in their crib and relax the evening alone together or do things. Not us. Our house is laid out so inconvenient for this. He doesn't really have his own room as it's built off of our's and so we must concede to the fact that his bed time sometimes is our bed time, beit til he's asleep or for the night. I am not really an early bed time person. My husband is. So for me it's like torture. I'm bored and my mind starts to wander instead. Then I get irritated that it's 730pm and I'm lying in bed trying to either get the baby to sleep or just lying there because my night is now gone as well.
But it's the sacrifice I guess. To see his sleepy little face and see him lying there so peaceful- ahh, it's adorable. But it sure does make the summer evening seem short and the summer night seem awfully long!
I miss dinners late and seeing friends. I miss the social aspect of summer. Someday we'll have our nights back... til then...
Now bed time begins around 6 or 7pm and that consists of scrambling to get the baby either bathed or his teeth brushed, and then take care of ourselves before he gets too tired and becomes a little bear til he falls asleep. For most parents we know they put their baby to bed in their crib and relax the evening alone together or do things. Not us. Our house is laid out so inconvenient for this. He doesn't really have his own room as it's built off of our's and so we must concede to the fact that his bed time sometimes is our bed time, beit til he's asleep or for the night. I am not really an early bed time person. My husband is. So for me it's like torture. I'm bored and my mind starts to wander instead. Then I get irritated that it's 730pm and I'm lying in bed trying to either get the baby to sleep or just lying there because my night is now gone as well.
But it's the sacrifice I guess. To see his sleepy little face and see him lying there so peaceful- ahh, it's adorable. But it sure does make the summer evening seem short and the summer night seem awfully long!
I miss dinners late and seeing friends. I miss the social aspect of summer. Someday we'll have our nights back... til then...
Friday, June 22, 2007
Am I the Only One?
Let me start off by saying this first and foremost: I LOVE MY SON TO DEATH. I would go to the moon and back for him. I would give up everything I am to spend my days with him. I love him more than I ever thought I would or could....
...And with that said, I have to be real. Sometimes he gets on my nerves. I admit it. When I know he's tired and cranky and I've tried time and time again to wind him down and soothe him to fall asleep but he won't give in to the Sand Man, but he proceeds to scream and cry and carry on in little tantrums because I need to shower or go to the bathroom or walk away for a second, it wracks my nerves to the point where I can't even look at him for the fear that I will instantly not like him anymore. And then I take a breath and try all over again only to end in his tears and my frustrations. I just don't get it.
And I feel like I've failed him. Like Mommy can't give him what he needs, or that I'm selfish for even trying to do such things like shower or get a drink or something in this time period. But it's a no win. He wants to be held. I hold him. He wants down. I put him down and he cries because he wants to be held. So I hold him again, but again he wiggles to get down. And so the tears come when I try to put him down and even get on the floor with him. Then the frustration builds between both of us to the point where I have to take my own time out and then he finally gets it- oh yeah, I've crossed the line of sanity and now Mommy is upset with me. He finally gives in and goes to sleep and then I need to breathe a sigh.
All the while the dog just watches, buries her little head in another room and waits for the peace to come...
...And with that said, I have to be real. Sometimes he gets on my nerves. I admit it. When I know he's tired and cranky and I've tried time and time again to wind him down and soothe him to fall asleep but he won't give in to the Sand Man, but he proceeds to scream and cry and carry on in little tantrums because I need to shower or go to the bathroom or walk away for a second, it wracks my nerves to the point where I can't even look at him for the fear that I will instantly not like him anymore. And then I take a breath and try all over again only to end in his tears and my frustrations. I just don't get it.
And I feel like I've failed him. Like Mommy can't give him what he needs, or that I'm selfish for even trying to do such things like shower or get a drink or something in this time period. But it's a no win. He wants to be held. I hold him. He wants down. I put him down and he cries because he wants to be held. So I hold him again, but again he wiggles to get down. And so the tears come when I try to put him down and even get on the floor with him. Then the frustration builds between both of us to the point where I have to take my own time out and then he finally gets it- oh yeah, I've crossed the line of sanity and now Mommy is upset with me. He finally gives in and goes to sleep and then I need to breathe a sigh.
All the while the dog just watches, buries her little head in another room and waits for the peace to come...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
When is Enough Enough??
So I'm going to rant a little today... so forgive me if I'm all over the place!
Why does money rule everything? Can't seem to ever make enough of it. Everytime you think that you have enough, something happens that you realize it's not.
How come everything we say we'll never do we do? I said I'd never be a nurse. I am now, and I love it! Friends say they won't live w/ anyone til they're married as my thinking as well, and lo and behold we all did!
What I believe pre anything always changes once the thing finally comes along. I figure I'll wanna go back to work w/o a hitch after the baby and I do w/o any problems, then he starts to get older and more fun and I wanna stay at home w/ him selfishly every day!
Friendships get tested and stretched over principal and isn't that why we became friends in the first place b/c we had that going for us?
And why does it cost so darn much to have someone take care of children? I get an email from a woman willing to consider being a babysitter to my son, but she wants to make more in one day than I do to watch him! So why would I work then?
When did being fair ever pay off? I figure what goes around comes around... but I'm still waiting my turn I guess.
Sorry for the downer post today.
Why does money rule everything? Can't seem to ever make enough of it. Everytime you think that you have enough, something happens that you realize it's not.
How come everything we say we'll never do we do? I said I'd never be a nurse. I am now, and I love it! Friends say they won't live w/ anyone til they're married as my thinking as well, and lo and behold we all did!
What I believe pre anything always changes once the thing finally comes along. I figure I'll wanna go back to work w/o a hitch after the baby and I do w/o any problems, then he starts to get older and more fun and I wanna stay at home w/ him selfishly every day!
Friendships get tested and stretched over principal and isn't that why we became friends in the first place b/c we had that going for us?
And why does it cost so darn much to have someone take care of children? I get an email from a woman willing to consider being a babysitter to my son, but she wants to make more in one day than I do to watch him! So why would I work then?
When did being fair ever pay off? I figure what goes around comes around... but I'm still waiting my turn I guess.
Sorry for the downer post today.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
What happened to vacation?
So I'm back...
... from vacation that is! We just got back from our yearly trip to Myrtle beach. This year we did 2 weeks instead of one and we had the most beautiful weather we've had in years! It was wonderful for not only us, but for the dog and the baby! He loved it!
And I realize that just because it's called 'vacation' doesn't mean it actually is one anymore now that I'm a Mom. I joke (but am serious) that he got 2 weeks away from his job, and I had to take mine along, but it's the truth! I had about 4-5 hours where I wasn't within ear shot, eye sight or being touched by the little guy! So now that we're home the only difference is that I'm on my own again w/ the "kids". And boy did they try to kindly remind me it's not that easy yesterday! The baby took a cranial dive off the bed while I was standing there folding laundry with him, the dog tried to choke on a ping pong ball and then the exact same ball got picked up and attempted to be shoved in the baby's mouth just seconds later! The routine somewhat was re-established, but just off enough that I had to be the enforcer, and we had laundry, cleaning up, unpacking, and groceries to get in addition! Phew! I was pooped!
So now I don't wanna go back to work! I don't work much, but I want my summer off. I know that sounds so bratty of me and selfish, but I want the summer to relax w/ the little ones and take walks, go to the pool, and just enjoy them. It's been go-go-go for my husband and I for so long that I wouldn't mind life slowing down just a bit to enjoy these hot hazy days. Ahh...
... from vacation that is! We just got back from our yearly trip to Myrtle beach. This year we did 2 weeks instead of one and we had the most beautiful weather we've had in years! It was wonderful for not only us, but for the dog and the baby! He loved it!
And I realize that just because it's called 'vacation' doesn't mean it actually is one anymore now that I'm a Mom. I joke (but am serious) that he got 2 weeks away from his job, and I had to take mine along, but it's the truth! I had about 4-5 hours where I wasn't within ear shot, eye sight or being touched by the little guy! So now that we're home the only difference is that I'm on my own again w/ the "kids". And boy did they try to kindly remind me it's not that easy yesterday! The baby took a cranial dive off the bed while I was standing there folding laundry with him, the dog tried to choke on a ping pong ball and then the exact same ball got picked up and attempted to be shoved in the baby's mouth just seconds later! The routine somewhat was re-established, but just off enough that I had to be the enforcer, and we had laundry, cleaning up, unpacking, and groceries to get in addition! Phew! I was pooped!
So now I don't wanna go back to work! I don't work much, but I want my summer off. I know that sounds so bratty of me and selfish, but I want the summer to relax w/ the little ones and take walks, go to the pool, and just enjoy them. It's been go-go-go for my husband and I for so long that I wouldn't mind life slowing down just a bit to enjoy these hot hazy days. Ahh...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Standing Still
I feel like I'm standing still and the world is going by right now...
I think it's because I'm at home on a sunny Monday in the house while 2 infants are napping and so is the dog. I am milling around the house trying to pick up toys and pack to go up to PA for the week. My husband is out of town. The street is closed because of a tanker accident up the street yesterday, so it's especially quiet at my end of town today. And it's very lonely all of a sudden.
Whenever my husband is out of town I get sad like this. I enjoy his company. I get excited waiting for him to come home at the end of the day, not to lend a helping hand (tho it does make me happy!), but to keep me company. It's how I know I'll enjoy growing old with him. We have our quirks. We drive each other nuts. But in the end I love him to death and miss him oh so dearly when he's not here.
So as I sit here writing and it's peaceful and quiet, I am wishing that we could win the lottery and start growing old together along with our "kids" today.
I think it's because I'm at home on a sunny Monday in the house while 2 infants are napping and so is the dog. I am milling around the house trying to pick up toys and pack to go up to PA for the week. My husband is out of town. The street is closed because of a tanker accident up the street yesterday, so it's especially quiet at my end of town today. And it's very lonely all of a sudden.
Whenever my husband is out of town I get sad like this. I enjoy his company. I get excited waiting for him to come home at the end of the day, not to lend a helping hand (tho it does make me happy!), but to keep me company. It's how I know I'll enjoy growing old with him. We have our quirks. We drive each other nuts. But in the end I love him to death and miss him oh so dearly when he's not here.
So as I sit here writing and it's peaceful and quiet, I am wishing that we could win the lottery and start growing old together along with our "kids" today.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
When It's Right It's Right
So I know my last entry was a little more pessimistic, but I promise to make it better tonight. After having my own pitty party I have realized that I couldn't have asked for a more perfect match for me than my husband...
When I am off, he is on. When I am down, he is up. When I have no patience, he is the saint of the two of us. When I am crazy he is level headed. When I am irrational, he is thoughtful.
Another girlfriend of mine is about the enter the whirlwind of engagement that leads to marriage, and I have feelings of giddiness and excitement being girly and thinking about the stuff that girls do when they're getting married. It's weird because for my own engagement and wedding I didn't get to have such excitement as that time was tainted a bit, so I live vicariously thru my girlfriends.
But I showed my husband, from long ago when we met, the ring I designed on a diamond website with my girlfriend just playing around if I married him. Amazingly enough I got EXACTLY what I wanted without asking him. He just knew... he knew me. And that's how I know we are perfect together.
When I am off, he is on. When I am down, he is up. When I have no patience, he is the saint of the two of us. When I am crazy he is level headed. When I am irrational, he is thoughtful.
Another girlfriend of mine is about the enter the whirlwind of engagement that leads to marriage, and I have feelings of giddiness and excitement being girly and thinking about the stuff that girls do when they're getting married. It's weird because for my own engagement and wedding I didn't get to have such excitement as that time was tainted a bit, so I live vicariously thru my girlfriends.
But I showed my husband, from long ago when we met, the ring I designed on a diamond website with my girlfriend just playing around if I married him. Amazingly enough I got EXACTLY what I wanted without asking him. He just knew... he knew me. And that's how I know we are perfect together.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
3rd Place Ribbons
When you were a kid, did you ever get a 3rd place ribbon? You sorta feel like a winner, but really it's not the same as being 1st or even 2nd. That's how it feels right now to become a Mother...
I used to be the number 1 priority w/ my husband. I used to matter most. Now I'm in line after the baby, the dog, and then I get affection after the circus calms down and the wind stops blowing by. Sometimes it's a quick kiss before we sit down to eat, sometimes it's the realization that I was forgotten all together. Either way, it just stings anymore.
Tonight I told my husband how this made me feel and instead of him making me feel loved, he got upset w/ me for picking on him. We circle this topic time after time since our son was born. It used to be blamed on the dog, now it's his fault that we have forgotten one another here and there, when in reality it's our own faults. We just don't try like we used to- neither of us. Doesn't mean we don't love each other, doesn't mean we don't care. Just means we don't make the time. Sometimes it doesn't matter because we're so tired, sometimes it doesn't matter because we're ok w/ the temporary (we hope) sacrifice of us, but sometimes it just down right hurts, and tonight is that night for me.
I had a terrible weekend w/ the little bear (my son) and the bad weinie (the dog) while my husband had a great time this weekend doing his thing while he was away from them and he missed them because of it. But instead of taking care of me because I was beaten down by #1 and #2 he took care of them thinking I needed the break. I did, but I needed to be loved just a little bit more. But they took it all and I got nothing. I know this happens, but it just stings when all the odds are against you in one weekend. So in the current race for love and attention, my 3rd place ribbon doesn't mean a whole lot today.
I used to be the number 1 priority w/ my husband. I used to matter most. Now I'm in line after the baby, the dog, and then I get affection after the circus calms down and the wind stops blowing by. Sometimes it's a quick kiss before we sit down to eat, sometimes it's the realization that I was forgotten all together. Either way, it just stings anymore.
Tonight I told my husband how this made me feel and instead of him making me feel loved, he got upset w/ me for picking on him. We circle this topic time after time since our son was born. It used to be blamed on the dog, now it's his fault that we have forgotten one another here and there, when in reality it's our own faults. We just don't try like we used to- neither of us. Doesn't mean we don't love each other, doesn't mean we don't care. Just means we don't make the time. Sometimes it doesn't matter because we're so tired, sometimes it doesn't matter because we're ok w/ the temporary (we hope) sacrifice of us, but sometimes it just down right hurts, and tonight is that night for me.
I had a terrible weekend w/ the little bear (my son) and the bad weinie (the dog) while my husband had a great time this weekend doing his thing while he was away from them and he missed them because of it. But instead of taking care of me because I was beaten down by #1 and #2 he took care of them thinking I needed the break. I did, but I needed to be loved just a little bit more. But they took it all and I got nothing. I know this happens, but it just stings when all the odds are against you in one weekend. So in the current race for love and attention, my 3rd place ribbon doesn't mean a whole lot today.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Team Sports
So raising a child/children is like playing a team sport...
However, there isn't really all that much team spirit sometimes between Mother and Father. Take this for example: My husband and I have differing personalities, thus we mesh well b/c of the opposite attraction theory. And thankfully we have differing times when we're patient, like he could care less to wake up in the middle of the night anymore as before it was me who didn't mind. Now I am so sleep deprived from the pregnancy and breast feeding and baby waking up period in time that when he does it now, I get instantly frustrated. So steps in my husband. And the rest of the times in the day I don't mind entertaining the little one and not taking daytime naps, so it works for us. But what doesn't work is the discipline of the little guy. I know he's too young yet to truly realize right from wrong and understand that he's in trouble for what he just did, but he does understand emotion and tone of voice just fine. I try to stand my ground and let him know that certain behaviors are not going to be tolerated or that they have consequences, but the moment my son makes one wince of upset, there swoops in Fun Daddy to rescue him! Ugh! So instantly my son realizes that Daddy is the good guy and Mommy is the bad lady!
It's the same with eating and diaper changing and getting dressed and not tormenting the dog and...
But what I realize is this- Daddy sees baby for about what, 2-3 hours at night by the time he gets home from work. He needs to make up for the lost day he's had from his son, so he plays and he gets baby excited and wound up! He does the fun bath and bedtime rituals. Mommy spends all day with baby and makes him eat his meals and cut back on junk food and drink his milk. Mommy makes baby get dressed and have his diaper changed so that there isn't a flood on the floor and poop stuck to him all day, and she makes him take naps. Mommy disciplines and sets the routine. She's the bad lady. All this in a 12 hour span while keeping the house together and taking care of the dog as well (remember, my dog is like a 2nd child mind you!). So when Daddy gets home from work they can't get enough of him! And when weekends roll around and the kiddies get to see the Daddy all day it's such a treat for everyone that routine goes out the window and it's so much more fun than it is with Mommy everyday of the week. It's not fair.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the tasks that I feel like I don't get to enjoy this time. And I feel selfish for wanting more time and less responsibility b/c of it. Well, like it's said that it takes a village to raise a child in some cultures, what I realize is in today's fast paced western culture, Mom and Dad at least need to be team mates and not contenders.
However, there isn't really all that much team spirit sometimes between Mother and Father. Take this for example: My husband and I have differing personalities, thus we mesh well b/c of the opposite attraction theory. And thankfully we have differing times when we're patient, like he could care less to wake up in the middle of the night anymore as before it was me who didn't mind. Now I am so sleep deprived from the pregnancy and breast feeding and baby waking up period in time that when he does it now, I get instantly frustrated. So steps in my husband. And the rest of the times in the day I don't mind entertaining the little one and not taking daytime naps, so it works for us. But what doesn't work is the discipline of the little guy. I know he's too young yet to truly realize right from wrong and understand that he's in trouble for what he just did, but he does understand emotion and tone of voice just fine. I try to stand my ground and let him know that certain behaviors are not going to be tolerated or that they have consequences, but the moment my son makes one wince of upset, there swoops in Fun Daddy to rescue him! Ugh! So instantly my son realizes that Daddy is the good guy and Mommy is the bad lady!
It's the same with eating and diaper changing and getting dressed and not tormenting the dog and...
But what I realize is this- Daddy sees baby for about what, 2-3 hours at night by the time he gets home from work. He needs to make up for the lost day he's had from his son, so he plays and he gets baby excited and wound up! He does the fun bath and bedtime rituals. Mommy spends all day with baby and makes him eat his meals and cut back on junk food and drink his milk. Mommy makes baby get dressed and have his diaper changed so that there isn't a flood on the floor and poop stuck to him all day, and she makes him take naps. Mommy disciplines and sets the routine. She's the bad lady. All this in a 12 hour span while keeping the house together and taking care of the dog as well (remember, my dog is like a 2nd child mind you!). So when Daddy gets home from work they can't get enough of him! And when weekends roll around and the kiddies get to see the Daddy all day it's such a treat for everyone that routine goes out the window and it's so much more fun than it is with Mommy everyday of the week. It's not fair.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the tasks that I feel like I don't get to enjoy this time. And I feel selfish for wanting more time and less responsibility b/c of it. Well, like it's said that it takes a village to raise a child in some cultures, what I realize is in today's fast paced western culture, Mom and Dad at least need to be team mates and not contenders.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
A Diamond is a Diamond
OK, so I realized today that we all live our own lives. Point blank. Some lives appear better than others, but that's just it- it's what it appears to be to the naked eye. Relationships compare to diamonds.
Let's look at the 5 C's...
1. Cut- some relationships are square and rigid and some are full circles and you can't tell where they begins and they never end. At times the cut changes and molds to the current life situation at hand, and that's the nice thing about life being abstract vs definite like a diamond cut.
2. Color- people come in all colors leading to different flavors of personality. Some relationships are fiery red, some are placid blue, and some are calm and serene like green.
3. Clarity- this is a hard one to point a finger on. Relationships at any time can be clear, they can be cloudy and sometimes dull and other times brilliant.
4. Carat- this one, like a diamond, shows that size sometimes makes all the difference. Relationships that evolve over time build the "carat" and when you look at longevity and life of a relationship, with each year, each obstacle, each moment in time the carat builds. You can have quality diamonds of large carats, but you can also have quality diamonds in smaller versions. It's all in how the diamond appears, and just like relationships, how well it's been manicured, too.
5. Cost- this is the newest description to diamond ratings. And in comparison to relationships is a pretty strong one to consider. Do you want the flawless precious diamond that you saved yourself for and it wasn't worth it, or do you want the slightly imperfect one that is just perfect for you?
So consider your relationship a diamond, where do you compare?
Let's look at the 5 C's...
1. Cut- some relationships are square and rigid and some are full circles and you can't tell where they begins and they never end. At times the cut changes and molds to the current life situation at hand, and that's the nice thing about life being abstract vs definite like a diamond cut.
2. Color- people come in all colors leading to different flavors of personality. Some relationships are fiery red, some are placid blue, and some are calm and serene like green.
3. Clarity- this is a hard one to point a finger on. Relationships at any time can be clear, they can be cloudy and sometimes dull and other times brilliant.
4. Carat- this one, like a diamond, shows that size sometimes makes all the difference. Relationships that evolve over time build the "carat" and when you look at longevity and life of a relationship, with each year, each obstacle, each moment in time the carat builds. You can have quality diamonds of large carats, but you can also have quality diamonds in smaller versions. It's all in how the diamond appears, and just like relationships, how well it's been manicured, too.
5. Cost- this is the newest description to diamond ratings. And in comparison to relationships is a pretty strong one to consider. Do you want the flawless precious diamond that you saved yourself for and it wasn't worth it, or do you want the slightly imperfect one that is just perfect for you?
So consider your relationship a diamond, where do you compare?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Next American Idol?
OK, so I admit that I'm one of those stinkin American Idol watchers. I can't help it, ever since a season or two ago when my husband's in tax season and there's nothing to do at night to humor myself but watch TV during the winter weeks, I do start to watch a few shows religiously here and there. And for some reason American Idol has become one of them!
So I'm watching the big Idol show lastnight and I realize that I feel guilty b/c I'm not donating money that I myself don't have right now, and I know they asked for a $1 or $5 even, but my wallet is downstairs somewhere and I'm not on the computer and I'm trying to put the baby to sleep, so all in all it's not a win situation to be giving. I give to other charities tho, mind you! And b/c of this guilt I now feel, I feel like I can't actually watch the whole show, so I flip the channels...
I start watching the Food Network show called 'Challenge' where people go head to head to break world records with food. Lastnight's contests: ice cream scoops in a minute, pancakes in an hour, pumpkin carving, oyster shucking, and onion cutting. And I'm hooked, just like that!
So while I'm watching who the winner was of the pancake record and with how many made in the hour, I miss the American Idol boot off. I call my husband (who mind you is out of town working) and beg him to check the internet for the result. He can't find it. He's conspiring with his co-worker on what websites to check. And finally at 1030 at night I get a text message on my phone that NO ONE was booted this week, but that the PussyCatDoll winner was Asia! :)
What a good husband I have!
So I'm watching the big Idol show lastnight and I realize that I feel guilty b/c I'm not donating money that I myself don't have right now, and I know they asked for a $1 or $5 even, but my wallet is downstairs somewhere and I'm not on the computer and I'm trying to put the baby to sleep, so all in all it's not a win situation to be giving. I give to other charities tho, mind you! And b/c of this guilt I now feel, I feel like I can't actually watch the whole show, so I flip the channels...
I start watching the Food Network show called 'Challenge' where people go head to head to break world records with food. Lastnight's contests: ice cream scoops in a minute, pancakes in an hour, pumpkin carving, oyster shucking, and onion cutting. And I'm hooked, just like that!
So while I'm watching who the winner was of the pancake record and with how many made in the hour, I miss the American Idol boot off. I call my husband (who mind you is out of town working) and beg him to check the internet for the result. He can't find it. He's conspiring with his co-worker on what websites to check. And finally at 1030 at night I get a text message on my phone that NO ONE was booted this week, but that the PussyCatDoll winner was Asia! :)
What a good husband I have!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Customer Service Follow Up
The kiddies are sleeping (my son, the dog, and the little boy I watch on Mondays for my friend) so I check my email. I got a response from the DirecTV replier person!...
What crap! It's a simple apology. That's it. There's no, hey- we'll flip you the movie for free because our customer service rep stinks at her job and curteous nature, there's no enjoy a free flick on us, or we'll acknowledge the employee. Not that I want her fired or reprimanded or anything, but c'mon gimme something! And yes, I do feel slighted and somewhat deserving. My husband and I go around and around about the customer service we have to give and uphold for a standard, so call us crazy that we would expect it in return! Now, if I worked for DirecTV I would have said something to this woman myself. In my older, younger, less mature life I would have yelled at her and ranted about incompetence (which I think I almost did anyway, so how mature am I really?), but in my new focus I would simply tell her she's being rude and inappropriate tho the entire time I would be thinking what an idiot she is really (sorry). But I would let her know either way that she was wrong myself instead of tattling on her and getting her in trouble of some kind. I despise that about work places, that grown ups tell on each other instead of dealing with things on their own quietly, and then the "boss" has to discipline his ADULT worker.
Anyway that's my update and my rant for now... hmph!!!
What crap! It's a simple apology. That's it. There's no, hey- we'll flip you the movie for free because our customer service rep stinks at her job and curteous nature, there's no enjoy a free flick on us, or we'll acknowledge the employee. Not that I want her fired or reprimanded or anything, but c'mon gimme something! And yes, I do feel slighted and somewhat deserving. My husband and I go around and around about the customer service we have to give and uphold for a standard, so call us crazy that we would expect it in return! Now, if I worked for DirecTV I would have said something to this woman myself. In my older, younger, less mature life I would have yelled at her and ranted about incompetence (which I think I almost did anyway, so how mature am I really?), but in my new focus I would simply tell her she's being rude and inappropriate tho the entire time I would be thinking what an idiot she is really (sorry). But I would let her know either way that she was wrong myself instead of tattling on her and getting her in trouble of some kind. I despise that about work places, that grown ups tell on each other instead of dealing with things on their own quietly, and then the "boss" has to discipline his ADULT worker.
Anyway that's my update and my rant for now... hmph!!!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Customer Service Unsatisfactory
OK, so I realize that working as a customer service representative of any kind probably doesn't pay all that well in comparison to educated careers like being a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant, but customer service is customer service darn it! I do it everytime I work. I have to go to work, deal with my patients in a respectful and mature way and make sure that their visit with me is pleasant enough that they want to return and that word of mouth spreads about their care and needs being met. So what's the difference in any other aspect of customer service then??
I mean, I realize there are different types of service and different pay scales to it, but does it really come down to money? Regardless of how much a person makes or doesn't make, the money still pays some of the bills if not all of them, right? I mean, the person still needs a job I'm guessing to live and pay for their life's expenses. So why do some people take it more seriously than others?
Here's my example: My husband and I try to rent a movie on the pay per view lastnight. Sounds easy enough, we're in our own home, bothering no one, figuring the stupid directv is going to let us down as its been in the recent past, and knowing that my husband will go on a rampage about how much he hates it and how we're getting comcast for the umteenth time in the past 3 months. So I go online after we view our options on the tv, and lo and behold the movie we want is "coming soon". How is that possible when it's on the channel to come on at 9pm? So I call... well, I'm greeted to find out that I have to pay a fee since a HUMAN has to do the ordering for us. But it's not our fault I explain and I want the fee waived. The woman refuses but states she can charge me less if I do the automated option (mind you I already tried that but it said the movie wasn't playing either) and when I tell her that doesn't work either she just argues with me. Why? What is this going to accomplish? I tell her I want her supervisor. She won't get him and says she can do it and we hang up... she didn't do it.
I call Ralph, my new customer service rep. He orders the movie and waives the fee in less than a minute. He then says a supervisor is going to get on the line. I get put on hold. I'm missing my stinking movie by being on hold for over 5 minutes so I hang up. Ugh! What the heck is wrong with people???
I mean, I realize there are different types of service and different pay scales to it, but does it really come down to money? Regardless of how much a person makes or doesn't make, the money still pays some of the bills if not all of them, right? I mean, the person still needs a job I'm guessing to live and pay for their life's expenses. So why do some people take it more seriously than others?
Here's my example: My husband and I try to rent a movie on the pay per view lastnight. Sounds easy enough, we're in our own home, bothering no one, figuring the stupid directv is going to let us down as its been in the recent past, and knowing that my husband will go on a rampage about how much he hates it and how we're getting comcast for the umteenth time in the past 3 months. So I go online after we view our options on the tv, and lo and behold the movie we want is "coming soon". How is that possible when it's on the channel to come on at 9pm? So I call... well, I'm greeted to find out that I have to pay a fee since a HUMAN has to do the ordering for us. But it's not our fault I explain and I want the fee waived. The woman refuses but states she can charge me less if I do the automated option (mind you I already tried that but it said the movie wasn't playing either) and when I tell her that doesn't work either she just argues with me. Why? What is this going to accomplish? I tell her I want her supervisor. She won't get him and says she can do it and we hang up... she didn't do it.
I call Ralph, my new customer service rep. He orders the movie and waives the fee in less than a minute. He then says a supervisor is going to get on the line. I get put on hold. I'm missing my stinking movie by being on hold for over 5 minutes so I hang up. Ugh! What the heck is wrong with people???
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Change
Man, just checked my work email and there's a new program that if I contract with a unit in the hospital to work 13 weeks and 36 hours a week that I could get a bonus at the end of the period! Sounds great, right? Well, not completely. The catch you ask?... my son.
In my old life, the one pre-baby I would have jumped at this and worked my butt off. Heck, leading to the birth of my son I was working 32-40 hours a week up until the day he was born, and in nursing that's quite an accomplishment! I didn't mind picking up extra days if my boss asked, I even offered if the clinic seemed overwhelmed! But not anymore.
He is my priority. He is my full time job. And I'm coming around to the notion that I actually don't mind giving up my career temporarily anymore. It is just that- my career, a path that I chose. But he is my whole world and my whole life, something that I have wanted, and that is the difference now. It's something that just recently has occured to me actually. It's taken quite a while for me to realize, but at the end of the day, my mentality is that of small town PA- family first and it's enough. I have struggled with my decision of stepping away from my career until recently, but I think now that my son is of the age and development where he's fun and interactive, I now appreciate being home with him more.
Ah, and here I am going back to work 2 almost full days a week. I'm sad to give up my everydays with him, but it's not much in the grand schema, so it'll be fine. Anyway, CHANGE is good sometimes!
In my old life, the one pre-baby I would have jumped at this and worked my butt off. Heck, leading to the birth of my son I was working 32-40 hours a week up until the day he was born, and in nursing that's quite an accomplishment! I didn't mind picking up extra days if my boss asked, I even offered if the clinic seemed overwhelmed! But not anymore.
He is my priority. He is my full time job. And I'm coming around to the notion that I actually don't mind giving up my career temporarily anymore. It is just that- my career, a path that I chose. But he is my whole world and my whole life, something that I have wanted, and that is the difference now. It's something that just recently has occured to me actually. It's taken quite a while for me to realize, but at the end of the day, my mentality is that of small town PA- family first and it's enough. I have struggled with my decision of stepping away from my career until recently, but I think now that my son is of the age and development where he's fun and interactive, I now appreciate being home with him more.
Ah, and here I am going back to work 2 almost full days a week. I'm sad to give up my everydays with him, but it's not much in the grand schema, so it'll be fine. Anyway, CHANGE is good sometimes!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Baby Phases
OK, so with every progression there is regression...
My son in the past few weeks has learned to master crawling, he is cruising and getting into everything now, and he just figured out how to climb up the stair to our bedroom (but just up so far and not down). He is now eating table food in addition to baby food, so eventually the transition will occur and I can stop buying jars of baby food making our grocery bill that much more expensive. He has started squealing and screaming like a little girl, and tho I find it completely hilarious when he does it, my husband's poor ears get tweaked time after time! And he is finally getting the 2 front uppers, which now all of a sudden he finds so interesting that he is grinding his teeth making a noise similar to the sucking of his paci. I come to realize today that there is no paci in his mouth and that's actually his teeth! And then instantly I get chills and that watering in the back of my jaw that nails on a chalkboard so kindly provide! Eew!
So with all the big boy stuff going on, here's the regression: he won't sleep alone. He's back in our bed sleeping right between us, him and the dog vying for prime space in our FULL sized bed. He used to at least entertain the pack and play (he will not even consider his crib since the construction on the house) for a few hours before waking and wanting in the bed, but not anymore. It's instant the moment his head hits the mattress pad and he's awake and crying. we give in and he's now a fixture with us night after night after night... He's waking up in the middle of the night and sometimes needs to be soothed back to sleep, but I hold my ground and don't even think of nursing him til at least 4am! But then 4am rolls around and he's being fed and I'm fighting off teetering over in my sleep counting the minutes til his belly is full enough! And the sippy cup... he was doing so well with at least taking a couple ounces out of it, but now he refuses it and closes his little mouth stubbornly.
But the one thing that's getting a teeny bit better: he's better with the separation issues and he's getting better in the car. There is no longer instant screaming when the door is closed, but if he's hungry, thirsty, or remotely tired, the whining and sometimes crying still continues. So we take it day by day, one phase at a time. We'll get there. My husband and I are pretty laid back about the issues, and hopefully that doesn't bite us in the butt later on!
My son in the past few weeks has learned to master crawling, he is cruising and getting into everything now, and he just figured out how to climb up the stair to our bedroom (but just up so far and not down). He is now eating table food in addition to baby food, so eventually the transition will occur and I can stop buying jars of baby food making our grocery bill that much more expensive. He has started squealing and screaming like a little girl, and tho I find it completely hilarious when he does it, my husband's poor ears get tweaked time after time! And he is finally getting the 2 front uppers, which now all of a sudden he finds so interesting that he is grinding his teeth making a noise similar to the sucking of his paci. I come to realize today that there is no paci in his mouth and that's actually his teeth! And then instantly I get chills and that watering in the back of my jaw that nails on a chalkboard so kindly provide! Eew!
So with all the big boy stuff going on, here's the regression: he won't sleep alone. He's back in our bed sleeping right between us, him and the dog vying for prime space in our FULL sized bed. He used to at least entertain the pack and play (he will not even consider his crib since the construction on the house) for a few hours before waking and wanting in the bed, but not anymore. It's instant the moment his head hits the mattress pad and he's awake and crying. we give in and he's now a fixture with us night after night after night... He's waking up in the middle of the night and sometimes needs to be soothed back to sleep, but I hold my ground and don't even think of nursing him til at least 4am! But then 4am rolls around and he's being fed and I'm fighting off teetering over in my sleep counting the minutes til his belly is full enough! And the sippy cup... he was doing so well with at least taking a couple ounces out of it, but now he refuses it and closes his little mouth stubbornly.
But the one thing that's getting a teeny bit better: he's better with the separation issues and he's getting better in the car. There is no longer instant screaming when the door is closed, but if he's hungry, thirsty, or remotely tired, the whining and sometimes crying still continues. So we take it day by day, one phase at a time. We'll get there. My husband and I are pretty laid back about the issues, and hopefully that doesn't bite us in the butt later on!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Little Human Parts
I was holding my son this morning and just looking at his little hands and feet. He is a miniature size adult. It is just amazing to look at his features and realize that he is a little human made up of a ball of cells initially and now he's here in the flesh sitting on my lap while I read him a book. He is a tiny version of my husband and I and he will eventually grow to be a big person one day. I just find him and the whole existence of him keeps me in awe. I never just look at him blankly it seems. I always have these realizations that WE made HIM.
Science, God creating man, and the whole dispute of evolution just gets me sometimes. I can see the theory behind both beliefs and I myself was raised to believe that God created man, but Science truly has invented man, and there is a difference, neither of which I am about to delve into right now for this entry. I'm just saying.
Anyway you look at it tho, children never cease to amaze in some capacity.
Science, God creating man, and the whole dispute of evolution just gets me sometimes. I can see the theory behind both beliefs and I myself was raised to believe that God created man, but Science truly has invented man, and there is a difference, neither of which I am about to delve into right now for this entry. I'm just saying.
Anyway you look at it tho, children never cease to amaze in some capacity.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Luck of the Irish?
OK, so I know that I can't make it as a 24/7 stay-at-home mom. I love my child and my little "toddler" weiner dog, but it's harder work somedays to keep them both occupied and happy than it is just to put in 8 hours at work!
So I've been staying home since our babysitter was done watching my son til we could find another sitter of the same caliber. She was great. But we knew it was only temporary and as all good things, her turn came to an end. And so we started looking into daycares- in home and facilities. The prices were fair for in-homes, but there were no openings. Facilities want more than our current mortgage! And a nanny wants to work part time, have the run of our house, all the while getting paid for vacations that even I don't get to take! So that wasn't an option right now either. So we held out and by the grace of God a new babysitter fell into our hands!
We are both very excited, my husband and I, to have her start but a little part of me is sad to give up my easy mornings with my son, breakfast and the routine we have. I'm going to miss the daily walking of the dog and the playing and all the funny little quirks that happen throughout the day. But this is good for me. It keeps me working and it keeps me adult and in conversation with a social twist.
Sounds like I'm going back to work full time, right? Nah!, I'm only going to work 2 days a week and 6 hours a day at that. But it's 2 days a week and 14 hours (with commuting) in total that I'm missing my baby grow. But I'm so much luckier than most mom friends I have, so I am glad and fortunate that I have my life the way it is. No, we aren't going to be rich off my salary, but I will feel fullfilled more so for my personal hard work, and I will treasure the moments with my son even more knowing that I selfishly don't have every single one with him all the time. I'll be alright!
So I've been staying home since our babysitter was done watching my son til we could find another sitter of the same caliber. She was great. But we knew it was only temporary and as all good things, her turn came to an end. And so we started looking into daycares- in home and facilities. The prices were fair for in-homes, but there were no openings. Facilities want more than our current mortgage! And a nanny wants to work part time, have the run of our house, all the while getting paid for vacations that even I don't get to take! So that wasn't an option right now either. So we held out and by the grace of God a new babysitter fell into our hands!
We are both very excited, my husband and I, to have her start but a little part of me is sad to give up my easy mornings with my son, breakfast and the routine we have. I'm going to miss the daily walking of the dog and the playing and all the funny little quirks that happen throughout the day. But this is good for me. It keeps me working and it keeps me adult and in conversation with a social twist.
Sounds like I'm going back to work full time, right? Nah!, I'm only going to work 2 days a week and 6 hours a day at that. But it's 2 days a week and 14 hours (with commuting) in total that I'm missing my baby grow. But I'm so much luckier than most mom friends I have, so I am glad and fortunate that I have my life the way it is. No, we aren't going to be rich off my salary, but I will feel fullfilled more so for my personal hard work, and I will treasure the moments with my son even more knowing that I selfishly don't have every single one with him all the time. I'll be alright!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Never an Opening Day
So while all of the city is heading to Camden Yards today for the excitement of opening day, I am baking chicken pot pies and cupcakes, forgetting that Opening Day is a treat itself since my husband is an accountant and currently in tax season, and my son and dog consume the other half of my no brainer day!
We take little walks over here in The Hill, and while we are close to the stadiums, I think it's the fact that the day is sort of gloomy that makes me realize that it's not as crazy around here as it could be given the fact of the O's playing at home for the first time this season.
I realize that I have never been to an opening day game and if I want to ever go with my husband accompanying me I never will. He will never have a "free" day to go to the stadium tho his other co-workers do. I will never understand the phenomenon that my husband can't go and so many others there can. Oh well. It's the life of the accountant's wife. Is it prestigious?...
But that's OK, I bask in the glory of other sports things- our Sunday walks thru the tail-gaters of football season and the occasional treat when we get to attend a game as well! I enjoy the few intense weeks of March Madness year after year. And I actually get a kick out of seeing people flocking to Camden yards when I'm heading home at the end of my work day somedays.
So I might not get to an opening day unless it's cleared of the month of April, but that's ok.
We take little walks over here in The Hill, and while we are close to the stadiums, I think it's the fact that the day is sort of gloomy that makes me realize that it's not as crazy around here as it could be given the fact of the O's playing at home for the first time this season.
I realize that I have never been to an opening day game and if I want to ever go with my husband accompanying me I never will. He will never have a "free" day to go to the stadium tho his other co-workers do. I will never understand the phenomenon that my husband can't go and so many others there can. Oh well. It's the life of the accountant's wife. Is it prestigious?...
But that's OK, I bask in the glory of other sports things- our Sunday walks thru the tail-gaters of football season and the occasional treat when we get to attend a game as well! I enjoy the few intense weeks of March Madness year after year. And I actually get a kick out of seeing people flocking to Camden yards when I'm heading home at the end of my work day somedays.
So I might not get to an opening day unless it's cleared of the month of April, but that's ok.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
No Sick Calls
Why is it that when Mom is sick is when Dad works the longest day and can't come home to help out, the baby thinks that TODAY is the day where he'll find his loud voice and squeal and scream in excitement time after time after time after time..., and the dog can't follow me around enough to get one walk around the block.
All I want to do is lie down. I just want to pull the covers up over my head and vegetate, be it sleeping or watching mindless television shows during the daytime. But the baby wants to try to explore today and he wants to yell like I said and he can't help but to climb all over me and jump on my stomach which is queasy enough without a small human playing on it. And the dog sees me get up to head to the bathroom or to the next room to grab a diaper and she instantly is off the bed and heading to the door with the glint of hope that this time Mom will take her outside!
And why is it that when I get sick does my husband have the one set schedule of plans- he's heading out of town for a bachelor party this weekend (yes, I am aware that it is Easter, our FIRST Easter with the baby!)- and I have to ruin his schedule just enough that it tweeks his entire day tomorrow and he kindly reminds me that for ME he'll do it. Would he do it for anyone else???
And so that's the worse part about staying home to raise the family- I don't get a sick day.
All I want to do is lie down. I just want to pull the covers up over my head and vegetate, be it sleeping or watching mindless television shows during the daytime. But the baby wants to try to explore today and he wants to yell like I said and he can't help but to climb all over me and jump on my stomach which is queasy enough without a small human playing on it. And the dog sees me get up to head to the bathroom or to the next room to grab a diaper and she instantly is off the bed and heading to the door with the glint of hope that this time Mom will take her outside!
And why is it that when I get sick does my husband have the one set schedule of plans- he's heading out of town for a bachelor party this weekend (yes, I am aware that it is Easter, our FIRST Easter with the baby!)- and I have to ruin his schedule just enough that it tweeks his entire day tomorrow and he kindly reminds me that for ME he'll do it. Would he do it for anyone else???
And so that's the worse part about staying home to raise the family- I don't get a sick day.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Little Boys
I don't know what it's like to have a little girl. I imagine that girls play all nicely and that they like to have tea parties and hold their dollys tight and kiss and hug them. I bet dressing them in little girl clothes is so much fun. It's some of the reasons why I wanted a daughter initially.
I have a son.
I love him to death. I can't imagine not having him in my life. He is the apple of my eye and the soul of my existence now. After my husband and I found out we were having a son we never wondered again what a little girl would be like. It's funny, we thought we were having a daughter for some reason and when the ultrasound revealed his little man parts we were mixed with emotion. And shortly after that we only ever dreamed of meeting our baby boy! Now I look at him and I watch him and I feel how much he needs me and I never think of pink.
Little boys are rough and play hard. They explore and love to play in their food. They have toys like noisy simulated cars and bang on drums while squealing with excitement. Little boys like to get dirty and don't like to get clean very much. They have cute clothes to wear that make them look like little men sometimes! Little boys can have all the doggy stuffed animals and blue paraphernalia that manufacturers make and they can have green and yellow and white and red and it's OK, too.
All of my girlfriends have sons. It makes me happy because my little boy will have play mates that he can pal around with and share some same interests. And then I start to think about the someday. Someday when he gets older and doesn't want his Mommy and someday when he brings his first girlfriend home, or when he wants to get married, or when he has his own children. I know how close I am with my Mom because I am her daughter and how my child sees her so much because I go home to my Mom, my parent. And I wonder if boys are like that with their Moms when they grow up... and that's when I wonder about having a daughter- years down the road when they are all grown up. Weird, huh?
I have a son.
I love him to death. I can't imagine not having him in my life. He is the apple of my eye and the soul of my existence now. After my husband and I found out we were having a son we never wondered again what a little girl would be like. It's funny, we thought we were having a daughter for some reason and when the ultrasound revealed his little man parts we were mixed with emotion. And shortly after that we only ever dreamed of meeting our baby boy! Now I look at him and I watch him and I feel how much he needs me and I never think of pink.
Little boys are rough and play hard. They explore and love to play in their food. They have toys like noisy simulated cars and bang on drums while squealing with excitement. Little boys like to get dirty and don't like to get clean very much. They have cute clothes to wear that make them look like little men sometimes! Little boys can have all the doggy stuffed animals and blue paraphernalia that manufacturers make and they can have green and yellow and white and red and it's OK, too.
All of my girlfriends have sons. It makes me happy because my little boy will have play mates that he can pal around with and share some same interests. And then I start to think about the someday. Someday when he gets older and doesn't want his Mommy and someday when he brings his first girlfriend home, or when he wants to get married, or when he has his own children. I know how close I am with my Mom because I am her daughter and how my child sees her so much because I go home to my Mom, my parent. And I wonder if boys are like that with their Moms when they grow up... and that's when I wonder about having a daughter- years down the road when they are all grown up. Weird, huh?
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Thank God for Weekend Daddy
I love to watch my 8-month old son interact with his Daddy on the weekend. Because my husband works all week and doesn't get home til it's almost bedtime each night, when weekends come around he goes into "weekend Daddy mode". I love it. I get to run errands without the screaming torment that is my child in the car, and I am out in the world alone for a little bit for the week. I get to do the mundane tasks that are maintaining the home- dishes, laundry, cleaning, but I enjoy it now because I can just do these things as there is another pair of hands now holding the baby and changing his diaper for these 2 days, and another person keeping him entertained that he can be with that it's OK to be away from Mommy sometimes.
The separation anxiety phase is not only tormenting my son, but it torments me as well since I can't do anything away from him if he knows I'm around or in sight. If he sees me he wants to be attached to me, either climbing on top of me or having me hold him. If I walk away he follows me on hands and knees. But when Daddy's around he is such a novelty to my son when he's home all day for these 2 days that he can't decipher which parent he wants more, and since I'm still around somewhere he chooses to hang out with Daddy til he absolutely needs me. And I love that they get along so well. It's the 48 hours of the 168 hours out of the week that I don't feel so needed and can sigh a breath to myself.
And let me not forget the weiner dog! She, too, is so excited to have the Daddy at home for the weekend that for 2 days she is his little girl and not vying for attention from me with her "brother". We can double up and each "child" gets fair love and attention. She prefers to snuggle up with the Daddy and I am child-less for some moments out of the day!
So if I can't say it enough, Thank God for Weekend Daddy!
The separation anxiety phase is not only tormenting my son, but it torments me as well since I can't do anything away from him if he knows I'm around or in sight. If he sees me he wants to be attached to me, either climbing on top of me or having me hold him. If I walk away he follows me on hands and knees. But when Daddy's around he is such a novelty to my son when he's home all day for these 2 days that he can't decipher which parent he wants more, and since I'm still around somewhere he chooses to hang out with Daddy til he absolutely needs me. And I love that they get along so well. It's the 48 hours of the 168 hours out of the week that I don't feel so needed and can sigh a breath to myself.
And let me not forget the weiner dog! She, too, is so excited to have the Daddy at home for the weekend that for 2 days she is his little girl and not vying for attention from me with her "brother". We can double up and each "child" gets fair love and attention. She prefers to snuggle up with the Daddy and I am child-less for some moments out of the day!
So if I can't say it enough, Thank God for Weekend Daddy!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tantrums
So I realized today that it is impossible not to get frustrated with children, no matter if they are your's or someone else's, but it amazes me that if it's mine I feel an instant irritation over unacceptable or intolerable behavior than when it's someone else's, then I feel sorry for the parent that they have to take this child home with them for good.
Today I witnessed the first true child tantrum since I've become a parent. I'm assuming because I wasn't a parent before that I could have cared less or swore that my kid would never be that way (tho I'm waiting any day for it to happen!), but it's almost a terrifying thing to witness how a small human could flail their body and get so mad over being told to sit and eat in a public arena. I tried to be the rational adult, but who am I kidding, I'm trying to reason with a 2-year old child! But it doesn't bother me one bit. I eat my food all the while trying to maintain this little one so my girlfriend can eat in peace, and I feel badly that I'm not doing a better job to give her a small break and a digestable meal for once.
And then just like that his tears stop and he is all luvy and we leave the table to move on to the next activity. It's amazing how quickly kids forget as well that they just did something unthinkable in public. I remember when I was a kid, I wouldn't yell or scream or kick or cry (at least I don't think so; my parents would have to post otherwise), I would do the opposite- I would sit and stew and cross my arms and legs and not move and not speak. My parents would have to pick me up and I'd be frozen in that same position til I got over it. I don't know which is worse because at the end of the day, both cause a scene to some degree and embarrass the heck out of the parents. And here I am an adult, I still stew and and sit quietly. Guess there are some things that don't always give just because we are adults.
Today I witnessed the first true child tantrum since I've become a parent. I'm assuming because I wasn't a parent before that I could have cared less or swore that my kid would never be that way (tho I'm waiting any day for it to happen!), but it's almost a terrifying thing to witness how a small human could flail their body and get so mad over being told to sit and eat in a public arena. I tried to be the rational adult, but who am I kidding, I'm trying to reason with a 2-year old child! But it doesn't bother me one bit. I eat my food all the while trying to maintain this little one so my girlfriend can eat in peace, and I feel badly that I'm not doing a better job to give her a small break and a digestable meal for once.
And then just like that his tears stop and he is all luvy and we leave the table to move on to the next activity. It's amazing how quickly kids forget as well that they just did something unthinkable in public. I remember when I was a kid, I wouldn't yell or scream or kick or cry (at least I don't think so; my parents would have to post otherwise), I would do the opposite- I would sit and stew and cross my arms and legs and not move and not speak. My parents would have to pick me up and I'd be frozen in that same position til I got over it. I don't know which is worse because at the end of the day, both cause a scene to some degree and embarrass the heck out of the parents. And here I am an adult, I still stew and and sit quietly. Guess there are some things that don't always give just because we are adults.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Life's Crazy Sometimes
How come right when you think you've got it all figured out and you feel like you're all put together finally, life throws a curve ball and all your dominos fall down and go "boom"??
For example, society tells us to get married, have kids, work hard and earn an honest wage. But no one ever tells you in what order or at what speed to do this. When is the timing ever right? Well, for my husband and I we did this in fast forward. We met, dated, moved in together, he bought a house, I bought a weiner dog, we got engaged, married and had a baby all in the span of a handful of years.
I was on the path of success for my career, going back to school working towards my Master's degree to creep up the career ladder someday, and I had my plans well in motion to eventually move back home to fullfill that and go back to the place I felt comfortable. I was well over dating Mr Wrong and Mr OK For Now, so I threw my hands up swearing to never date a soul til I found the man I could call my husband...
Then I met "Him", and here I am today, still living in the city taking a moment away from my education to raise a family and working part time to maintain my career all the while losing focus because my personal life has me so well distracted. Now we have a crazy household consisting of an 8 month old with separation anxiety issues who has immediately become our boss the moment his tiny existence entered this world (the pay isn't good, but it's a priceless job), our weiner dog has become more human than we care to imagine, fighting over toys with her "brother" and vying for space and attention from the Mommy and the Daddy, and resorting to regressed actions like a toddler would over envy of his new sibling as well! My husband's work schedule is quite demanding and I try hard to hold down the fort while going to work here and there, and all the while we try to remember the days when it was only us and we felt young and free. And I realize now that it is us who must change and make new days and moments to move forward and stay close.
I can talk with my girlfriends and realize that they too, feel the overwhelming surge of motherhood, wifehood, career woman-hood, and the whole gammet, and we laugh because there are those moments that when you say it out loud you realize that it's a ridiculous ride, but well worth the price in tickets, so you hold on tight, take it day by day, and hope that you can get thru it without a scratch from the unexpected hills on this roller coast ride called life.
For example, society tells us to get married, have kids, work hard and earn an honest wage. But no one ever tells you in what order or at what speed to do this. When is the timing ever right? Well, for my husband and I we did this in fast forward. We met, dated, moved in together, he bought a house, I bought a weiner dog, we got engaged, married and had a baby all in the span of a handful of years.
I was on the path of success for my career, going back to school working towards my Master's degree to creep up the career ladder someday, and I had my plans well in motion to eventually move back home to fullfill that and go back to the place I felt comfortable. I was well over dating Mr Wrong and Mr OK For Now, so I threw my hands up swearing to never date a soul til I found the man I could call my husband...
Then I met "Him", and here I am today, still living in the city taking a moment away from my education to raise a family and working part time to maintain my career all the while losing focus because my personal life has me so well distracted. Now we have a crazy household consisting of an 8 month old with separation anxiety issues who has immediately become our boss the moment his tiny existence entered this world (the pay isn't good, but it's a priceless job), our weiner dog has become more human than we care to imagine, fighting over toys with her "brother" and vying for space and attention from the Mommy and the Daddy, and resorting to regressed actions like a toddler would over envy of his new sibling as well! My husband's work schedule is quite demanding and I try hard to hold down the fort while going to work here and there, and all the while we try to remember the days when it was only us and we felt young and free. And I realize now that it is us who must change and make new days and moments to move forward and stay close.
I can talk with my girlfriends and realize that they too, feel the overwhelming surge of motherhood, wifehood, career woman-hood, and the whole gammet, and we laugh because there are those moments that when you say it out loud you realize that it's a ridiculous ride, but well worth the price in tickets, so you hold on tight, take it day by day, and hope that you can get thru it without a scratch from the unexpected hills on this roller coast ride called life.
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